Common Misconceptions About Marriage Sustainability
In the early stages of a relationship, a complex interplay of chemicals like oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, estrogen, and testosterone fuels the desire and keeps partners "on a 'happy high' of love and lust." However, as relationships evolve, it's essential to examine and question whether some beliefs about them are genuinely true, as many may not be and may interfere with the relationship's health.
One such unrealistic expectation is that partners are responsible for each other's happiness. This belief can create feelings of anxiety, sadness, and despair in relationships, according to clinical relationship counsellor Clinton Power. It's more about being considerate and getting to know one's partner, fulfilling their unmet needs, rather than taking responsibility for their happiness.
Another misconception is that happy relationships remain the same. People in happy relationships can change, and their relationships can evolve as well. Change in a spouse or partner, such as pursuing a new career path or passion, can be surprising but is a natural part of personal growth and relationship evolution.
Unrealistic expectations also include the belief that partners should meet each other's happiness quotas. When partners do not meet these expectations, resentment can emerge. Resentment can evolve into contempt, which can erode a marriage. It's unrealistic to expect one's partner to meet their happiness quota. Instead, it's about learning to negotiate differences and successfully soothe each other when upset.
Conflict in relationships isn't inherently a problem. It provides an opportunity to learn to manage differences and to successfully soothe each other when upset. After the honeymoon period, it's normal to enter a period of conflict in relationships.
It's also unrealistic to expect that relationships, marriages, behaviour, and what one should "get" remain the same. Exploring these expectations can help couples navigate their relationship more effectively. Helping a partner heal past hurts can be incredibly powerful, particularly in terms of confidence, feeling loved, safe, and secure.
In conclusion, it's crucial to challenge unrealistic expectations in relationships and to understand that relationships are a journey, not a destination. They require effort, understanding, and a willingness to grow and change together.
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