Deception Individuals Engage in Early Romantic Connections, Resulting Often in Heartache Due to These False Beliefs
In the whirlwind of new love, it's easy to overlook potential red flags and make decisions based on feelings rather than facts. Therapist Jeff Guenther, also known as TherapyJeff, a licensed professional counselor (LPC) and therapist, has identified certain lies people tell themselves during the early stages of relationships that can lead to disaster.
One of the most common lies is the belief that passion and chemistry will develop over time if everything else is good. However, TherapyJeff warns that this belief can lead to settling for a relationship that lacks passion or chemistry, which may cause dissatisfaction in the long run.
Another lie is the notion that a partner's jealousy is endearing. TherapyJeff advises that jealousy, especially if it indicates control or abusive tendencies, is nothing cute and should be avoided. If a partner becomes possessive or controlling, it may indicate narcissism or abusive tendencies, and such relationships should be avoided.
Denial can be a powerful drug, and it can lead to ignoring warning signs in the beginning of a relationship. It's important to be honest with oneself about the potential red flags in a relationship and not ignore them. For instance, if a partner's constant joking or different behavior around friends might indicate their true personality, which rarely changes over time.
It's also important to question whether one truly believes in the potential of the relationship or is settling due to fear of being alone. If every ex of a partner is 'crazy', the common denominator is likely the partner, and one day, the partner may become the 'bonkers story' told to others.
People should take Maya Angelou's quote seriously: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." If a partner shows signs of being untrustworthy, abusive, or manipulative, it's crucial to believe them and avoid getting involved.
TherapyJeff also emphasises that relationships should be based on common ground, and huge gaps in common interests can rarely make it work long-term. The belief that 'our big differences complement each other' can feel exciting at first, but can lead to feeling trapped in a relationship with someone who is fundamentally different over time.
In conclusion, it's essential to be honest with oneself and avoid telling oneself lies that can lead to disaster in relationships. These lies, according to TherapyJeff, will "bite you in the [behind] once the honeymoon is over."
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