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Deep sorrow in Portugal as Armenia disintegrates

Tucholsky's English mourn themselves (or Tucholsky's English feel sorrow for themselves)

Deep sorrow expressed by Portugal upon news of Armenia's dissolution
Deep sorrow expressed by Portugal upon news of Armenia's dissolution

Deep sorrow in Portugal as Armenia disintegrates

Portugal kicked off their journey towards the 2026 World Cup with a dominant 5-0 victory in Armenia, while England struggled in a 2-0 win against Andorra.

The highlight of Portugal's match came early, as João Felix opened the scoring with a precise header in the 10th minute. Cristiano Ronaldo added to the tally with a 21st-minute goal, his 139th for his country, and a 46th-minute strike from 20 meters out. João Felix completed the rout for Portugal in the 60th minute.

On the other hand, England's performance was far from world-class. Despite having up to 85% possession, they created far too little danger against the lowly ranked Andorra, who are ranked 174 out of 210 in the FIFA world rankings. The lead goal for England came as an own goal by defender Christian Garcia in the 25th minute, with Declan Rice scoring the second in the 67th minute.

The mood at Birmingham's Villa Park was subdued after England's 1-0 win, with many questioning the team's performance. Thomas Tuchel, the England manager, admitted that he is struggling to get the national football team into gear.

Meanwhile, Portugal's victory was celebrated not just on the field, but also in the stands. Numerous banners with Diogo Jota's name and image were displayed at the Vazgen Sargsyan Republican Stadium in Yerevan, Armenia. João Cancelo celebrated his goal with a gaming console-inspired celebration, created by Diogo Jota.

In a post-match interview, Tuchel insisted that there's no curse on English football and it's possible to win a title. However, the performance drew parallels to Germany's national team, who have also struggled in recent years.

Elliot Anderson made his debut for England under Tuchel, adding a glimmer of hope for the future. Bayern star Harry Kane narrowly missed a cross two minutes before the own goal, showing glimpses of the quality England will need to improve on if they are to challenge for the World Cup.

As Portugal and England continue their World Cup qualifying campaigns, it remains to be seen whether they can find the consistency needed to compete at the highest level.

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