Feeling Incomplete: Understanding the Void in Your Life
In a world that is constantly evolving, so are we. Our values, the compass that guides us through life, can change as we grow and accumulate different experiences. This is the premise of the book "The New Happiness: Practices for Spiritual Growth and Living with Intention," which discusses the importance of identifying our core values.
Values, according to the authors Matthew McKay and Jeffrey C. Wood, are a guide towards all that matters to us. They are categorised into two main types: self-growth and service. Self-growth values focus on personal development and self-care, including creativity, health, education/learning, recreation, self-compassion, and self-care. Service values, on the other hand, revolve around relationships with others and the world, including family, social relationships, community, nature and the environment, people in need, animals, and public policy.
Self-growth values are not just abstract ideas; they are actionable. For instance, committing to journaling every day for 10 minutes can be an action taken to fulfill the value of curiosity. In the family domain, committing to speaking with a partner about additional chores to help reduce their overwhelm is an example of acting upon the value of cooperation.
However, values alone do not impact our lives unless we act upon them. The authors stress that it is essential to take conscious steps towards living according to our values. This could mean consciously taking breaks, acknowledging one's own needs, and creating space for them instead of constantly overloading oneself emotionally. Practices like meditation, mindfulness, self-reflection, spending time in nature, and seeking support such as coaching or counseling can facilitate reconnecting with oneself and regaining inner freedom.
Connecting to our core values may not always be straightforward. In such cases, seeking help from a therapist might be necessary, especially if feelings of emptiness and disconnection persist and could be signs of depression. It is important to remember that depression is highly treatable, and seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a step towards recovery.
Reflecting on values and intentional actions regularly is also crucial to ensure they still resonate and align with our personal growth. The authors provide a worksheet for identifying personal values and creating actionable steps to act on them. They suggest jotting down important domains, key values in each domain, and one action to commit to.
Living one's life according to personal values provides meaning, purpose, and fulfillment. As we navigate through life, let our values be our guiding light, leading us to a life that is not just lived, but truly lived.
Photography by Jordan Madrid on Unsplash is used in this article to provide a visual representation of the journey of self-discovery and growth.
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