Mourning the Departure of a Mother: Strategies for Daughters to Cope Effectively
Losing a mother is a profound and life-changing experience. It's more than just clinical symptoms; it can mean feeling like you've lost an important part of your support system, wondering how successfully you're fulfilling your own role as a mother, and experiencing strained relationships within your family.
Cultural and tradition losses, plus a lack of maternal guidance, can leave a person feeling lost and disconnected from those closest to them. However, there are ways to cope and find comfort during this difficult time.
Mindfulness can help manage painful memories related to the loss. Incorporating favorite traditions from your mother, such as making recipes she used to cook or using the same fragrances she used in her home, may provide comfort. Offering maternal support to others who have experienced parental loss can also provide a sense of purpose during the grieving process.
Honoring a mother's memory can take various forms, such as donating to her favourite charity or achieving personal goals. Focusing on happy reminders such as pictures, books, or keepsakes can provide comfort during the grieving process.
It's important to remember that grief can affect individuals differently, and this is particularly true for those who have lost their mothers. A 2021 study found that parental loss is linked with depression and a compromised sense of self in young adults. Daughters may experience grief differently than sons, with women often experiencing a greater decline in self-esteem, increased binge drinking, and lower personal mastery (personal growth) after the loss. Sons may exhibit more externalizing behaviors and sometimes less overt emotional expression, but they too can suffer significant health effects.
Both daughters and sons can suffer adverse physical health outcomes linked to prolonged grief, but the manifestations and coping styles differ by gender. Grief can lead to increased chances of cancer, cardiac issues, immune disorders, and high blood pressure.
If extreme grief persists for more than a year or interferes with daily tasks, speaking with a mental health professional may be helpful. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.) lists a variety of normal emotions in the year following parental loss, including regret, remorse, anxiety, guilt, emptiness, rage, anger, sadness, and numbness.
There are numerous resources available for those experiencing overwhelming grief or thoughts of self-harm. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, Crisis Text Line, and Befrienders Worldwide offer immediate help.
Starting your own traditions can help provide comfort knowing your children will have both yours and your mother's traditions to carry on. Keeping up with traditions or starting new ones can help ease the burden of loss.
In conclusion, navigating grief after the loss of a mother can be a challenging journey, but it's one that doesn't have to be faced alone. Seeking support from local support groups, online chat forums, and mental health professionals can provide a much-needed sense of community and guidance during this difficult time.
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