Reflections on Loss and Emotions: A Personal Account of Grieving During the Initial Year
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In the wake of a profound loss, a Crisis Counsellor found themselves grappling with grief, just like many others who have experienced the pain of losing a loved one. This individual, with years of experience in helping others navigate trauma, found themselves on the other side of the counselling table, seeking solace and understanding in the face of loss.
After the death of their father, they turned to the book "The Grief Club" by Melody Beattie, hoping to find a roadmap through their sorrow. However, initially, they found themselves stuck, unable to read the book, paralysed by the depth of their grief.
Their journey through grief was not a straightforward one. Time did not lessen the pain, and they struggled with social interactions, often feeling waves of sadness, especially at night. Yet, they found solace in the understanding that grief is not something to get over; it has many peaks and valleys.
This individual learned to fully comprehend grief as a process that leads to deep emotional pain. They recognised that finding gratitude within grief is possible, and it all starts with love. They found themselves grateful for the deep capacity to love their father while he was here and after he is gone.
Grief, they came to understand, is not something to escape but something to be embraced. They felt the need to be rooted in their grief to feel close to their father. It was a time of transition, a personal journey of self-discovery, and finding a new normal.
In the midst of this pain, they discovered that grief can offer gifts, even when it still hurts. They found ways to maintain a metaphysical relationship with their father through traditions, monuments, conversations, journaling, and writing music.
The quote by Jamie Anderson that "grief is just love with no place to go" resonated deeply with them. It reminded them that love never dies, even when the person it is for is gone. Life continued despite their grief, requiring them to get up, show up, and be present.
This experience has transformed this Crisis Counsellor, making them more empathetic and understanding towards their clients. They now share their personal journey, hoping to offer comfort and guidance to those who are also navigating the complex landscape of grief.
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