Relinquishing the Grip of Detrimental Parents

Emancipating from Harmful Family Relationships

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2025 September 16 . 5:24 AM

2 min read

ReleasingOneself from Harmful Family Relationships

Relinquishing the Grip of Detrimental Parents

In the complex world of family dynamics, dealing with toxic parents can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. Fortunately, there are resources available to help individuals navigate this difficult situation.

Authors like Alice Miller, Jesper Juul, and Karl Heinz Brisch have addressed the topic of dealing with toxic parents, and there are books available in German on this subject such as Alice Miller's "Das Drama des begabten Kindes" and Jesper Juul's "Leben lernen". In addition, professionals like Anna Cordova, a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Tina Gilbertson, an estrangements counselor and author, and Elvita Kondili, a counselor and certified life coach with a PhD, offer guidance and support for those seeking to take control of their lives.

One of the first steps in dealing with a toxic parent is to clarify one's intentions and ensure that one is not motivated by spite or looking to get a certain reaction from anyone. It's important to refrain from name-calling and "playing psychologist" during the conversation with the toxic parent.

Another crucial aspect of dealing with a toxic parent is setting boundaries. This can be a difficult process, but it's healthy and appropriate for individuals to set boundaries with family members, including parents. Letting go of the need to make the toxic parent understand the reasons for setting boundaries is an important part of healing.

Maternal estrangement is stigmatized, and society often views it as more problematic than paternal estrangement. However, it's important to remember that everyone's situation is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another.

Accepting that others may not understand one's choice to estrange from the toxic parent is an important part of the healing process. It's also important to allow siblings to go through their own process regarding their relationship with the toxic parent.

Emotional drain and lack of boundaries are common results of having a toxic parent in one's life. It's possible to navigate the process of estrangement from a toxic parent and take back control of one's life. Allowing oneself to let go of guilt or shame associated with letting go is an important part of healing.

Dealing with a toxic parent is taxing and often traumatic, and self-care practices like therapy, yoga, meditation, and journaling can help. Group therapy and online resources and support groups can be valuable for people preparing to let toxic parents go.

Finally, it's important to embrace the fact that you can't know the future and that people, including parents, can change. However, it's the parent's obligation to provide for and raise a child healthily, and it's not one's obligation to stick around if they remain abusive or chronically destructive.

Creating healthy relationships with others as a way to repair the loss of a toxic relationship is an important aspect of healing. By taking control of their lives and seeking support, individuals can find a path to healing and a brighter future.