Strategies Men Employ When Their Spouses Most Require Support, Based on Psychological Insights
In a recent 2022 study, the gendered coping strategies and behaviours of men were examined, shedding light on how these strategies can pose challenges to their personal and mental health.
One of the key findings was that men's reliance on gendered coping strategies, such as emotional concealment, avoidance, and suppression, can lead to larger physical and mental health challenges. This can manifest in various ways, including shutting down during emotional moments, overusing humour to avoid vulnerability, and using the silent treatment more frequently than their female counterparts.
When men shut down, they often dismiss and invalidate their partners, causing strain in the relationship. This behaviour can be rooted in discomfort with emotional expression, communication, and vulnerability, which can be cultivated by a single partner's discomfort or personal insecurities. Being overly rational in the face of emotional expression can also spark disconnection and resentment.
Leveraging shame can push partners further away and isolate them. Defensiveness, a natural reaction to fear, anxiety, insecurity, and a desire to prove oneself right, hinders openness, vulnerability, and emotional closeness in relationships. Shifting blame during conflict can lead to the erosion of the wellbeing of a relationship, and taking emotions personally can reinforce the misguided belief that every problem is one's fault.
On the flip side, emotionally expressive and close couples are generally healthier than those who withhold affection and avoid conflict entirely. Open communication, honesty, and mutual understanding are key to fostering a strong and healthy relationship.
It's important to note that dismissing or invalidating a partner's opinions can hinder the growth and productivity of a relationship, especially when one partner bears the burden for cognitive and emotional labor. Using distractions to avoid conflict, vulnerability, and discomfort in a relationship can cause more long-term hurt and pain than it's worth.
In conclusion, understanding and addressing these gendered coping strategies is crucial for fostering healthy relationships and promoting mental well-being. By cultivating openness, vulnerability, and emotional closeness, partners can build stronger, more resilient relationships that withstand the challenges of life.
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