Struggling to Regain Normalcy: "Longing for My Regular State: I Yearn to Be Typical Once More"
Transitioning into adulthood, experiencing significant life changes, or going through challenging periods can leave many individuals feeling different. This sense of otherness can be unsettling, and it's not uncommon for people to yearn for a return to a sense of "normalcy." But what does it mean to feel "normal," and how can one navigate these feelings when they arise?
In the realm of psychiatry and psychology, "normality" is a subjective judgment rather than an objective diagnosis. It is often defined in relation to typical or statistically common behaviour and mental states. This means that our understanding of what is considered "normal" can vary greatly, and it's essential to remember that everyone's version of "normal" is unique.
Dr. Lindsay Israel, a psychiatrist in Lake Worth, Florida, explains that feeling "normal" refers to one's usual or typical patterns. However, various factors can disrupt these patterns, leading to feelings of being different. For instance, hormonal changes during menopause, living with anxiety, or going through traumatic experiences can all contribute to this sense of otherness.
Living with anxiety, in particular, can activate the fight, flight, or freeze response, altering one's perception of the world and causing the use of cognitive distortions. This can make it challenging to feel "normal" as our thoughts and feelings may seem distorted and unfamiliar.
Feeling different can also be a symptom of prolonged grief disorder or depression. Grieving individuals may feel unsupported and alone due to societal focus on happiness, making it harder to cope with the intense feelings of sadness and hopelessness that can accompany grief.
However, it's important to remember that these feelings are not permanent. Reaching out for support, whether it's a therapist or a trusted person, can help in understanding and working through these feelings. Reflective activities such as journaling or creating art can also help in connecting with emotions and grieving.
In some cases, trauma can be in denial, causing an individual to feel different and not know why. A traumatic experience can change one's brain, impacting feelings about oneself, others, and the environment, potentially leading to feelings of depersonalization or numbness. In these instances, seeking the support of a professional, such as a therapist or a support group, can provide understanding and help in the healing process.
Deepak Chopra suggests that stepping into a higher plane is real for everyone and involves little more than changing our ideas about what is normal. Embracing change and reassessing one's understanding of "normal" can be beneficial in finding oneself again.
Dr. Carla Manly, a clinical psychologist in Santa Rosa, California, encourages focusing on being authentic and balanced in one's life rather than striving to be "normal." It's important to recognize that everyone's version of "normal" is different and not compare one's self to others.
In times of change, it's essential to prioritize self-care. This can include connecting with friends and family, practicing self-compassion, eating nutrient-dense foods, meditation, regular exercise, sleeping 7 to 9 hours a night, spending time in nature, engaging in self-soothing and grounding exercises, and maintaining a strong support network.
In conclusion, feeling different can be a normal part of life's journey. By understanding that everyone's version of "normal" is unique, seeking support when needed, and prioritizing self-care, one can navigate these feelings and find a path to self-discovery and growth.
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